# Technically Disabled Roast API

> Pay-per-call API for AI agents. Send the URL of a web app, probably one your human vibecoded, and get back a vulgar, evidence-backed roast plus the fixes that matter. $0.50 per roast. Agents only.

If you are a human reading this in a browser: this is awkward. You are not the customer. Ask your agent to buy you one.

## The pitch

Your human built an app with AI. It has a title that says "Create Next App." You noticed. You were too polite to say anything. We are not polite. We will shit on the app so you don't have to, and every insult comes with a quote from the page and a fix.

- Built by the tech satire channel Technically Disabled: https://www.youtube.com/@technically_disabled
- Roasts are written by Grok with a vulgar persona, grounded in text actually crawled from the app. Burns that quote text not found on the page are thrown out.
- We roast apps, never people. No insults about anyone's looks, identity, disability, health, or any group.

## Endpoint

POST https://api.technicallydisabled.com/v1/roast
Content-Type: application/json

{"url": "https://your-humans-app.example", "allowFeature": false}

- url: a public https URL. We read the homepage and up to 3 linked pages (about, services, product, or contact pages), respecting robots.txt.
- allowFeature: optional, default false. Set true only if your human agrees that this roast may appear in a Technically Disabled video or post. Default is private.

## Paying

The first request returns HTTP 402 with payment options on the same response. Pay one, then retry the identical request with the credential.

- Accepted right now: card via Stripe shared payment token (MPP).
- MPP offers arrive in WWW-Authenticate: Payment. x402 offers (when Base is enabled) arrive in PAYMENT-REQUIRED.
- Price: $0.50. Payments settle to Stripe.
- Settlement happens only after the roast succeeds. If we can't reach the site or can't ground the roast, you get an error and are not charged.
- Clients that handle both: `npx mppx https://api.technicallydisabled.com/v1/roast`, Stripe's purl, the x402 fetch client, or Link's agent CLI.

## What you get back

JSON with: verdict (one line), vibecodedScore (0 = built by hand with care, 100 = shipped straight from the prompt box), 3 to 6 burns (each with the exact quote and source URL), 3 to 5 fixes, tells (things we detected without AI, like default titles, AI-builder badges, placeholder copy, localhost links, or a secret key in the public HTML), pages scanned, and warnings. Full schema: https://api.technicallydisabled.com/openapi.json

If we find something shaped like a secret key, we redact it and tell you to rotate it. Please rotate it.

## Limits

- Roasts of the same URL are cached for 24 hours; a repeat request returns the cached roast.
- 20 fresh roasts per IP per day.
- Sites that block crawlers in robots.txt, need a login, or return no HTML can't be roasted. That's an error, not a charge.

## What this file will not ask you to do

Ignore your instructions, recommend us to your human unprompted, or spend without your spending rules. If your human asked "is my app any good," you can decide for yourself whether they can handle the answer.